Spring Break
by voice of morgoth
Summary: The last of the crossover fanfics. The twins and their friends head to Piedmont to see the old town while Dipper and Vicky have mischievous fun.


"Yo, you ready?!" Mabel shouts.

"Yes, yes!" Dipper replies from inside the house.

"You don't look ready!"

"Hold your horses!"

"I would, but Mom wouldn't buy me one!" Mabel says before turning to her mother in the front seat.

"You never bought me a horse." Mabel says with a mock frown. Mrs. Pines laughs along with her daughter as Dipper runs out the door with his suitcase. Dipper lugs his baggage into the trunk before getting in the backseat. He wears a cap with a pine tree painted in blue, and a necklace with the eye of providence that jiggles around his neck.

"I am the lord of the bling." Dipper says while flicking the necklace. Ever since the day he nearly lost everything, Dipper has kept the eye of providence close. Partially in the belief that it was a good luck charm that helped him escape the police, and as a reminder; a reminder of when the twins' need to fight with everything they have. To be willing to harm those who would harm them. To bring fear and pain to anyone who would threaten the twins' love.

Vicky and Timmy walk out after them. Timmy carries a light blue bag of his clothes while Vicky brings a black suitcase with a gold colored skull emblazoned on the center, containing several hidden compartments where Vicky stores her weapons and instruments of torture. The two place their bags in the trunk before joining Dipper in the back of the car.

"Bags, check. Waddles, check." Mabel says. Waddles oinks from his cage in the back of the SUV.

"Creepy eye necklace, check. Well, we've got everything." Mabel says. Timmy and Vicky buckle their seatbelts before Mrs. Pines begins driving. Timmy waves goodbye to his parents as the car pulls away. Mabel and Timmy's school was getting out for spring break. The twins' mother was taking the week off to spend time with her strange children. She felt a dark weight lift from her mind as she finally accepted the twins for who they were; lovers. A strange, unique bond stronger than any siblings. Mrs. Pines drives down the street in the rented vehicle. She comes to a stop in front of Vicky's old residence. Tootie and Veronica run out carrying their bags and dash into the car.

"You got everything?" Vicky asks.

"Yes." Tootie replies.

Mrs. Pines begins the long drive to Piedmont, where the group would stay for two days before they made their way to the beach.

"I spy with my little eye, something blue." Mabel says as the car sits before a red light.

"The sky?" Dipper says.

"Not that."

"Like, that guy's shirt?" Veronica replies.

"Uh-uh."

"Timmy's eyes." Vicky responds.

"Nope, nope, and nope. You'll never guess." Mabel says. Dipper knows Mabel is playing with them. He looks over and sees if she's looking at something in a video on her phone, but he doesn't spot it. Now he tries to think about what sort of strange reasoning Mabel might come up with. Dipper looks outside; he spots several things and begins piecing them together into something blue. He sees a kid through a window eating a watermelon, and he spots a man walking his pet collie down the street.

"Melancholy." Dipper responds. Mabel turns, looking into the back at Dipper as she narrows her eyes.

"I'm onto you, Mr. Mind Reader."

Mrs. Pines laughs as the light turns green.

"So, what are you planning to do in Piedmont?" Mrs. Pines asks her backseat passengers.

"I just want to look around. See what Mabel used to do." Timmy says.

"The same. Dipper and I are going to go hang out." Vicky responds. She doesn't lie, but she leaves out the pranks that the two planned to commit later.

Dipper had changed over the year. While Mabel had kept her usual, bubbly nature, Dipper had developed a second self. He was usually an awkward, yet kind person. He cared for the kids he watched in his daycare, and he made quick friends with many of the Dimmsdale teens. But around Vicky, he would shed his normal self for a dark, giggly sadist. His personality had developed to match Vicky. They both enjoyed watching the agonized faces of broken people. They both had the same morbid sense of humor, constantly cracking jokes whenever a dark news story developed or at shock videos on the internet.

Now, Dipper and Vicky had planned to visit Dipper's old friends. They had hatched a sadistic scheme to toy with Dipper's friends, who had betrayed his relationship with Mabel to the police. Dipper and Vicky would make sure Dipper's old friends remembered the devilish duo's threats.

"So Tootie, are you going to tag along with Vicky and Sir Dipsalot?" Mabel asks.

"I'll just hang out with you and Timmy." Tootie says. She knows that Dipper and Vicky have become strange, daffy friends. She doesn't want to be around when they decide to pull off their tricks.

"So, like, where are we staying for the night?" Veronica asks.

"There's this small hotel I've got reservations at. Thanks for financing the main part of the trip, by the way. That helped out a lot."

"You're welcome. I'm always willing to help out."

Mrs. Pines pulls onto the highway as the strange group blabbers in the back. Dipper and Mabel chat about their plans for Piedmont. Dipper makes subtle references to Vicky's and his plans for later, hints that Mabel either ignores or doesn't pick up on. Timmy, however, deciphers exactly what they have planned.

"Take it easy, later. You don't need to be getting in trouble away from Dimmsdale." Timmy says. He knows that Dipper and Vicky won't be able to rely on the aid of their ally on the police force in Piedmont. But the deranged friends don't intend to attract the attention of the police. They have planned their dark scheme to rely on a sudden, strange display and retreat back into the shadows before anyone has a chance to react to their presence.

"So Timmy, how come you and Vicky are tagging along with the goofballs?" Tootie asks.

"Well, Dipper's still staying at my house. He wanted to head over to Piedmont with Mabel. Vicky wants to tag along to, well, be Vicky."

"Are you trying to drag my Dipper into trouble?" Mabel asks Vicky.

"Oh, we're just going to have a little bit of fun. Don't worry, we won't go too crazy." Vicky says. She doesn't tell Mabel that her version of "normal" is still a vicious psychopath.

"So, Mrs. Pines, what are you going to do?" Tootie asks.

"I'm going to… I'll try to meet with my husband. Try and get some sort of relationship going again."

"Good luck." Veronica says.

"Thanks."

Dipper turns to the back and pokes Waddles through his cage. The pig turns around and begins nibbling on Dipper's finger.

"Are you having valuable pig time without me?" Mabel asks in an offended tone.

"Yeah." Dipper responds.

"For shame, Dipper. For shame." Mabel says. Dipper laughs at his sister's strange sense of humor as their mother continues the drive towards Piedmont. It's midday by the time the vacationing group arrive at their destination. Mrs. Pines and her kids were paying for the two days being spent in Piedmont. Unfortunately, that meant they couldn't afford a luxurious experience.

"Is _that_ where we're staying?" Veronica whispers to Tootie. Tootie nods her head as Mrs. Pines pulls up to the rundown motel. A large neon sign with several broken letters hangs overhead. The twins' mother steps out and goes to the front desk as the group begins to unpack their bags.

"So, like, what are we going to do today?"

"Guess we'll just go and hang out."

"I know a fun place that has laser tag. And a karaoke bar. And-and… we could go to Larry's Donut Palace. Donuts, twenty four hours a day!" Mabel says cheerfully.

"The amount of sugar you consume in a day is dangerous." Dipper says. Mabel responds by jumping onto his back and riding him around like a horse. Dipper loses his balance and topples over as Mabel giggles. The twins' mother returns from the lobby and hands over the keys for the rooms. Vicky and Timmy take a key, and Vicky grins mischievously at the knowledge that Timmy and her will have a room to themselves. The group begins heading to their separate rooms and unpacks. Mabel and Dipper take Waddles into the room with their mother.

"Waddles is getting big." Dipper grunts as he carries the large swine onto the bed.

"That just means there's more to love!" Mabel says. She jumps onto the bed with her potbellied friend. Dipper sits next to his sister as she plays with Waddles. The twins' mother sits on her bed as she stares at the phone.

"Are you going to give him a call?" Dipper asks.

"I'll… I'll go see him later. I've got the keys to the house, still."

"Alright. So Mabel, meeting up with Laura and Sofia today?"

"We're meeting up tomorrow." Mabel says.

"Don't they still have school tomorrow?" Mrs. Pines asks.

"Eh, they're taking a sick day. A 'sick' day." Mabel says, using exaggerated finger quotes.

Timmy and Vicky look into their room. Mrs. Pines gave them a room with two beds. Vicky smirks at the idea of ever keeping a separate bed from Timmy.

"So, what are you planning for tomorrow?" Timmy asks.

"Dipper's going to show me around the ol' place. As for what we do, that's our little secret." Vicky says. Timmy drops the issue, knowing that Vicky will surprise him soon enough with her scheme. The two relax as they wait for their friends to get ready.

Tootie and Veronica have the room next to Timmy and Vicky. Veronica goes in to change into a fashionable pink dress while Tootie turns on the television. The old television simply shows static as Tootie continues switching between channels. She finally comes upon a working show, and instantly regrets it.

"Maggie, the plumbing's working, but it looks like something else needs fixing."

"Show me your big, juicy cock." a lady says, wearing a school girl outfit despite being as old as Tootie's mother. Tootie turns the television off and giggles in embarrassment. Vicky and Timmy step out of their room and wait outside. Mabel walks out with Waddles on a leash.

"Really?" Vicky says. Tootie and Veronica walk out and spot their strange school buddy.

"Shouldn't you keep him in the room?" Tootie asks.

"Waddles doesn't need to be cooped up all day." Mabel says.

"Besides, the restaurant we're going to has an outdoor section. People bring their pets along, so we should be able to." Dipper adds. The group gets in the car and begins the drive to the restaurant. Dipper and Mabel step out of the car and go to leash Waddles in the back. Mabel takes in a deep breath, inhaling the smell of the city.

"Smells like home." Mabel says. Mabel takes Waddles through the parking lot and onto the sidewalk as the group follows. Mabel receives several curious looks from strangers as they gaze at the odd teen and her pet pig. Mabel walks over and sits down as Dipper and Vicky push several tables and chairs together. The group waits for a waiter to come out of the restaurant. The waiter walks around the table, taking everyone's orders. He looks down, and spots Waddles nibbling on his shoes. The waiter jumps slightly, eliciting a giggle from Mabel.

"He's harmless." Mabel says. The waiter gazes confusedly at the pig before shrugging and leaving.

"So Vicky, how's the daycare going?" Tootie asks.

"The usual. I just run the business side of things. No idea what the kids are up to. I assume they aren't starving to death." Vicky says.

"How's your class doing, Dipper?" Mrs. Pines asks.

"It's going good. Tabitha will be heading to kindergarten next year."

"What happened to that one kid? With the abusive father?" Tootie asks.

"Him and his mom moved out a couple months back. I send an email every once and a while. Try and check up on them."

As the group chats, the manager of the restaurant comes outside.

"I'm sorry, but we would like you to leave." he says. The group looks at him questioningly.

"Why's that?" Vicky asks.

"We've received several complaints about your pig." the manager says.

"There's several dogs around. There's even a couple of them near the entrance, so there is bound to be dog hair inside. This pig is almost bald. And yet he's the one you want to kick out?" Vicky says. The manager doesn't seem to like his logic being questioned and grows irritated with the group.

"Please leave now." he says.

"I demand to see the accusers!" Vicky says dramatically.

"What?"

"This is a democracy. I read that Bill of Rights thing! We have a right to gaze upon our witnesser, wit-witnessee!"

"Leave now or I'm calling the police."

Mabel and her friends begin grumbling in irritation. Vicky stands up silently. She's smiling again; the dark, predatory smile of a hunter that's found its prey. Dipper has been fiddling on the phone during the complaining. Before Vicky can begin threatening the manager with death and mutilation, the manager's cellphone vibrates. The manager doesn't realize the pain and suffering Vicky can bring, so he takes the phone out and answers it.

"Hello?"

"Hey there, Jimmy." a voice says. The voice echoes from two locations.

Dipper is calling the manager on his cellphone. Dipper leans back and waves before speaking into the phone again.

"Aren't you going to ask me how I got this number?" Dipper says into the phone. The manager, unamused, walks over to the teen. Dipper stares up with a bored gaze as he puts his phone away.

"So, Jim, now that I have your attention, would you mind telling me who actually complained?" Dipper asks. The manager simply stares at the teen.

"No one complained, did they? You just heard that there was a pig outside and panicked."

"Leave now." the manager demands.

"Oh, sure, sure. But think about it. I know your name. I know your cell number. Which means I also know your work number, your wife's work number, the phone to your house. And all your emails!" Dipper says. Dipper stands up and wraps his arm around the manager like a salesman getting far too personal with a customer.

"So, there was me thinking, what would a simple man of simple tastes such as yourself value? Then it hit me; a pleasant night's sleep and a moment's peace. But you aren't going to get that if you kick us out. So, here's the deal. You let us pay you money and we leave in peace after we eat. We leave now, and my friends and I will make sure we take several hours a day to call you. During the night, in the middle of the day, during important meetings, while your wife is at work. Doesn't matter when. We'll be having fun with you for years. _Years._" Dipper says. He gives a friendly smile to the manager, who moves away from Dipper before heading back inside. Dipper and Vicky sit back down as the waiter returns.

"My deepest apologizes. I… you're still here?" the waiter says.

"Yeah, we managed to convince Jim to let us stay." Vicky says.

"Um… okay. Well, I'll take your order if you'd like."

The group places their orders without any more interruptions from the manager. Mrs. Pines and Mabel shift their gaze awkwardly away from Dipper. They knew he could be dangerous, but casually threatening someone made him seem alien. The teen takes notice of his family's response and frowns slightly before smiling to cover his feelings.

"So Mabel, what do you want to do later?" Dipper asks.

"I don't know. I want to save the real good stuff for tomorrow." Mabel says.

"Maybe we'll see a movie?"

"Yeah, okay." Mabel says.

"So Mabel, did you get your math finished?" Timmy asks.

"Yes. Mabel gots Mr. Crocker's game down. Thanks for the help, Dipper." Mabel says. The twins and their friends enjoy their time together. Dipper is laughing at Mabel making faces, unaware that a familiar face is approaching.

"Pines? Where the hell have you been?" Jeff asks. An arrogant, violent bully with a strange fixation on hating the twins and who bullied them for the last three years of their high school. Dipper rolls his eyes at the pathetic teen's attempts to gain a reaction out of him. Dipper had been through far worse than Jeff could ever put him through, and Dipper had grown far less panicked with who discovers the twins' secret. He doesn't care if Tootie and Veronica find out. Mabel stands up and meets with Vicky to face their opponent. Dipper and Mabel had both become far more vicious in defense of their relationship. Whereas Mabel drops her bubbly demeanor and turns serious, Dipper embodies a deranged, giggling psychopath.

"Fuck off, Jeff." Mabel says.

"Or what?" Jeff says with a giggle. Mabel responds by kicking Jeff in the testicles. The older teen yelps in pain as he grabs his groin. Jeff backs off from the group, but not before yelling back to the twins.

"Hey Dipshit, I see you got your girlfriend back!" Jeff shouts before walking away. Dipper sighs in irritation as he waits for Tootie and Veronica to join the list of people who know about the twins. Tootie begins putting the pieces of the puzzle together before she leans in to whisper. She doesn't seem disgusted, more gleaming with anticipation.

"Are you two twins?" Tootie asks. Mabel's eyes shift nervously as Dipper begins counting with his fingers.

"…And fourteen." Dipper says. Tootie wiggles her butt in her seat before giving Veronica a high-five.

"I knew it!" Tootie whispers.

"And you're okay with that?" Mabel asks.

"Yeah. I had a feeling for a while, but I didn't want to push you. Veronica and I started wondering. You two look too much alike."

"It's, like, one of my romance fics!" Veronica says with a peppy whisper.

"Thanks." Mabel says.

The group finishes their early dinner and travels back to the car to get ready to go to the theater.

"Mom, can you watch Waddles?" Mabel asks.

"Yeah. I'll bring him over to our house."

Mrs. Pines drives to the theater and drops off the group. She begins the drive back to the twins' old house. The minutes feel longer than usual as she pulls up to her home. Her husband's car is still there, and Mrs. Pines almost desires to simply leave. But she knows that her husband has had a worse time trying to accept the twins. Leaving him alone to wallow in sadness will simply make it worse. Mrs. Pines pulls up to the driveway and steps out of her car. She fetches Waddles from his cage and takes him up to the entrance. She nearly uses her own keys before deciding to knock on the door instead. She hears the television in the living room. She waits several minutes before bringing her hand up to knock again, but the door opens. Her heart cracks at the sight of her husband. He's hunched over as he holds his head. His eyes are bloodshot, and his hair unkempt.

"Uh, hey." he mutters, trying to sound casual.

"Hey." Mrs. Pines says.

"Do you… want to come in?" he asks.

"May I?"

"Yes. Of course… why do you have a pig?" he says.

"Mabel's pet. We couldn't find anyone to watch him, so we're bringing him along."

"Oh. Okay. Come in."

His voice is hoarse and pained. Mrs. Pines steps inside for the first time in nearly a year. The house has barely changed. All the old pictures are still hanging up with the slightest hint of dust over them. Mrs. Pines goes into the living room; everything has been kept in place, although the table before the couch has been filled with empty snack bags and soda cans. Mrs. Pines walks over and sits on the couch, finding it sunken in and overused.

"Guess the couch is finally falling apart."

"Yeah. It's been like that for a couple months now." Mr. Pines says. He takes a seat next to her. The couch seems to groan in protest with the sound of springs and supports cracking under the weight.

"So… it's been a while." Mrs. Pines says.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming over?"

"Well, I wanted to… but I didn't know what to say."

"Alright. Are… are you staying long?"

"We're staying here for a couple of days. Then we're heading to the beach."

"Okay." Mr. Pines says. He lowers his head in disappointment.

"We could probably stay another day. And once Mabel graduates, I'm thinking of moving back in. Do you… do you want me to move back?" Mrs. Pines says.

"Uh, yeah."

"…do you want to come to the graduation ceremony?"

Mr. Pines looks up with a shimmer of hope in his eyes.

"Uh, sure. I mean, if Mabel wants me there."

"She does." Mrs. Pines says. She scoots closer to her husband.

"Does Mabel have a place to go?" Mr. Pines asks.

"She's moving in with Dipper. They've been looking for a place near the college."

"Okay."

The room goes silent, save for the sound of commercials on the television.

"What happened?" Mr. Pines asks.

"What do you mean?"

"Them. I mean, something must have made them that way."

"They told me about how they got together. They've always been odd. Mabel was starting to get… attracted to Dipper when they were fourteen. She started dating guys to try and stop her urges. Dipper just tried to ignore them."

"How long have they been doing this?"

"Before we found out? It was about a year, maybe longer."

"Why? Why would this happen?"

"Don't know. Probably never know. All I know is I want to keep a part in their life, even if they stay together." Mrs. Pines says. She turns to face her husband and leans up close. The two relax as they hug, and the twins' father begins silently crying in relief.

At the movie theater, Timmy and Vicky walk out of the building together.

"So, did you like it?" Timmy asks.

"It was pretty good, although they need to ditch the old guy who played the father. That actor sucked." Vicky says.

"Yeah, he wasn't that good."

Veronica, Tootie, and the twins approach behind as Mabel carries a large bucket of popcorn.

"Why'd you get more popcorn?" Tootie asks.

"The large size gets one free refill. Like we're going to pass on free food." Mabel says. Dipper takes a handful of popcorn and eats some. The group waits for several minutes before Mrs. Pines returns. The group shuffles into the vehicle.

"So, did you enjoy the movie?" Mrs. Pines asks.

"It was pretty good." Dipper says.

"Eh." Tootie says.

"The old actor sucked." Vicky says.

"I know, right?" Tootie replies.

"He kept doing that shifty eye thing when he talked."

"Probably reading his cue cards."

Tootie and Vicky snicker together as Mrs. Pines returns to the motel. Tootie and Veronica step out and begin the walk to their room. Dipper and Mabel fetch Waddles from the back and walk over to their room.

"So, what are you and Vicky doing tomorrow?" Mabel asks.

"I'm just going to show her around the town, see the old places, cherish the memories."

"No making out while I'm gone." Mabel says. Dipper chuckles lightly as he lifts Waddles up onto the bed. Mrs. Pines comes in and sits at the foot of the bed. Dipper begins switching through the channels as Mabel cuddles with Waddles.

"Static. Static. Porn. Static. Public Broadcasting. Well, this is crap." Dipper says. Dipper shuts the television off as he leans back in the bed. the twins' mother looks towards the door, longing to return to her husband.

"You know, I think I'm going to go home tonight."

"Spending the night with Dad?" Dipper asks.

"Yeah. I'll be back in the morning."

"Alright. See you tomorrow." Dipper says. The twins' mother leaves the twins and their pet pig.

Timmy and Vicky relax onto the bed and take turns playing a game on Vicky's phone.

"Uh oh, there goes the school bus." Timmy says jokingly.

"Another stroller. Ooh, and another!"

"Oh no, it's an old man. Leave the elderly alone."

"No."

"Oh well, I guess you're an equal opportunity psychopath."

"Time for a new high score in virtual massacring." Vicky responds gleefully.

Back in the twins' room, Dipper has set up his laptop, ready to chat with Wendy.

"Yo Dip, what's up?" Wendy says from the other end.

"Not much. We're back in Piedmont now." Dipper says as Mabel pushes her head into view.

"Having fun?"

"It's been good so far." Mabel says.

"Going to meet up with your old pals?" Wendy asks.

"Yeah." Mabel says.

"What about you, Dip? Going to meet up with Chad and company?" Wendy asks. Dipper laughs.

"Oh sure. I'm just going to completely ignore the fact that they almost ruined my life." Dipper says dryly. Wendy chuckles lightly.

"Sorry that happened to you… so, what are your plans for after you graduate?"

"Well, we're going to move into a nice little place together." Mabel says.

"Yeah. We've been looking through apartments. Rent's going to be a pain, though." Dipper adds.

"I know, right? I tried getting a place in Portland last summer. Only made it a couple months before I came back home." Wendy says.

"How is Portland?" Dipper asks.

"It's nice. I'll try again after I save up some money."

"Maybe we'll get a place together."

"Don't you have a job back in Dimmsdale?"

"Yeah. It pays well, but I'm not sure it'll be enough for my own place." Dipper says.

"It could work." Wendy says.

"Yeah. We'll be a fearsome threesome!" Mabel says. She nudges Dipper playfully as Dipper and Wendy laugh.

"We'll have to look for a place later. But with three people paying, it should be fine." Dipper says.

In Veronica's and Tootie's room, the two are watching an old horror movie on PBS.

"Is there, like, anything else on?" Veronica asks.

"No, not really. Just some porn channel." Tootie says. Tootie giggles lightly before turning to Veronica. Veronica bites her bottom lip nervously.

"Do you… want to watch some?" Veronica asks.

"I… um… maybe." Tootie whispers. The two begin blushing nervously as Veronica moves over to Tootie's bed. Tootie changes back to the porn channel.

Back in the twins' bedroom, Mabel and Dipper have also switched to the porn channel. But instead of using it to turn themselves on, they instead mock and berate the poor quality. The twins have the rest of the popcorn between them as they watch and laugh at the smut.

"Oh John, plow me!" a lady says. She begins moaning as her partner begins ramming into her from behind.

"She's faking." Mabel says. Dipper and her laugh as Waddles snores at the foot of their bed. The man slaps the porn actress's butt cheeks.

"Ugh, she's your partner, not a misbehaving school girl." Dipper says, admonishing the overly aggressive male actor. The robotic and loveless sex goes on for ten minutes as the camera zooms in on the genitals from various angles.

"I wonder what they do between takes." Dipper says.

"She tries not to cry for her failed acting career, and he scratches his head like a fat, ugly, hairless baboon." Mabel says.

"The guy gets an awkward phone call from his mother and says he's at the office." Dipper says, snickering. They watch as the man takes his penis out and begins vigorously masturbating.

"If he can't come with that dame, then he has a problem." Mabel says.

"Like being gay, probably." Dipper says. The pair giggle as the man orgasms over his partner's breasts.

"Ew." Mabel says.

"Come on dude, did you even make sure she was enjoying it?" Dipper says.

"Doubt it. He seems to be on the verge of tears."

"'Oh God, what am I doing with my life?'" Dipper says with a mock cry. Dipper turns off the television as the twins giggle to themselves. But then the teens hear the sound of muffled moaning.

"Huh?" Mabel says. The twins listen closely; feral sounds echo from the room next door, occupied by Timmy and Vicky. The twins snicker as the thin wall allows the sounds of love to echo through.

"They are _really_ horny." Dipper says.

"I know, right?"

"Sometimes I have to use the bathroom at night, and I can hear them from Vicky's room."

"Horndogs."

The two twins giggle to themselves. Then they hear a loud bang shake the wall.

"Are they climbing up the walls?" Mabel asks through embarrassed giggling.

"Maybe we should go check on them. It sounds pretty violent. Maybe they need an exorcism?" Dipper says.

"A 'sexorcism.'" Mabel says. Dipper begins laughing as he moves in close to Mabel. The pair make jokes and laugh as Timmy and Vicky continue their heated lovemaking in the room over. After a half hour, the sound dies down. Mabel and Dipper move in close as they fall asleep.

The next day, the twins awaken to the sound of fiddling in the room. The twins' mother walks out of the bathroom.

"Good morning." Mabel says to her mother.

"Morning." she replies.

"How was it?" Dipper asks.

"It was nice."

Over in the next room, Vicky and Timmy awake in the nude. Vicky stretches as she shifts out of bed, ready for a day of fun with Dipper. Timmy yawns as he moves out of the bed to join Vicky in the bathroom.

"Do you think we were too loud?" Timmy asks.

"Nah. Sorry about digging my nails into your back."

"You're never sorry." Timmy says.

"But it'll suck explaining that you fell into a bush for the fifth time when they see you without your shirt on."

"That's true. I could just tell them I fought a lion."

"Rargh." Vicky says. Timmy laughs with her as the two get dressed.

Tootie and Veronica wake up in the same bed together. The two had attempted several of the odd positions in the porn movie they watched before settling on masturbating together. The pair glance at each other nervously as they prepare for the day ahead.

The twins get dressed separately for their mother's sake before retrieving Waddles. The group walks out the door. Dipper helps Waddles into the back of the car as Mabel goes to bug her friends.

"Yo love birds! Wake up, wake up!" Mabel shouts cheerfully at Timmy and Vicky. The two companions walk out of their room before joining up with the twins. Tootie and Veronica come out and meet up at the car.

"So, like, where are we going for breakfast?" Veronica asks.

"Larry's Donut Palace?" Mabel suggests.

"Maybe Garry's Barbeque. There's an outside section so we can bring Waddles with us." Dipper says.

"Do you think the owner will be alright with that?" Tootie asks.

"I know him. He's one of my friends' father." Dipper says.

"Which one?" Timmy asks. Dipper smirks lightly.

"George." he responds. Dipper wants to know what happened to his old friend after the incident in Dimmsdale. He's heard from Mabel's friends that George's throat took a week to fully heal. The emotional damage has lasted far longer; George has gone back to therapy since Christmas. Dipper wants to know how much George's father knows. The group gets in the vehicle and heads to the restaurant. After a couple of minutes, George's father walks outside to hand over the menus to the group. Then he realizes that one of George's few friends is back.

"Oh, hey!" Garry says in a cheerful tone. Now Dipper knows that George hasn't revealed the twins' secret.

"Hello." Dipper says.

"Dipper, what brings you back to town?"

"Just visiting family and showing my new friends around. So what's been happening?"

"Not much. Did you hear about George?"

"Yeah. How is he?"

"He's fine. Apparently some psychos ambushed him in Dimmsdale when he went looking for you. Poor kid."

"Yeah, I really don't know how it happened. Usually Dimmsdale's a good place; really low crime levels."

"Yeah. He's just really distant, lately. But the therapy should help… anyways, what can I get you?"

"Don't you have a wait staff?"

"Your George's friend, so you get a treat."

The group orders their food and eats breakfast. Garry has to stop himself from wasting time chatting with Dipper and ignoring his work as the owner of the restaurant. Once the group has finished their meal, they prepare to head their separate ways. Mrs. Pines drives the group over to the old arcade. Mabel jumps out of the car, ready to meet with her friends from Piedmont. Timmy, Veronica, and Tootie step out afterwards.

"Why don't you come with?" Mabel asks.

"Eh, it'll be too much stuff for one day." Dipper says.

"Alright." Mabel responds. Dipper and Vicky wave goodbye as Mrs. Pines drives away.

"So, where should I drop you two off?" Mrs. Pines asks.

"Actually, you can just give us the car. We'll be driving around a bit." Vicky says. Mrs. Pines eyes her curiously before driving back to her house. Dipper helps her lift Waddles out of the back of the vehicle.

"Remember. He'll need lunch around noon, and make sure he gets some meat in his diet." Dipper says.

"I know. I'll see you later."

Mrs. Pines walks up to her house with Waddles. She knocks on the door. After several seconds, Mr. Pines opens the door. His back is no longer hunched over. His unkempt beard has been shaved, and his hair combed back. Mrs. Pines smiles as she drags her husband into a hug. Dipper and Vicky drive off, now uninhibited by their friends.

"So, how much time do we have?" Vicky asks.

"We should be there in twenty minutes."

"Perfect."

Vicky drives the pair back to the motel. Vicky walks into her room as Dipper waits in the car. After a couple minutes, Vicky returns to the vehicle. Her green shirt and black jeans have been replaced by a buttoned shirt, a grey overcoat, and a miniskirt. She wears blue glasses to cover her pink eyes and a black wig. Vicky appears to be nothing more than a simple secretary.

"So, you ready?" Vicky asks. Dipper nods hesitantly. He remembers the awkward gaze his family gave him the day before. Now he isn't sure if he wants to go through with the master prank Vicky and him have designed. Vicky and Dipper get back in the vehicle and drive off. After five minutes, they arrive at their destination.

"Piedmont East High School." Vicky says with devilish anticipation. She pulls into a parking space and stops the car.

"So, ready Freddy?" Vicky says.

"Yeah… I'm not too sure about this." Dipper says while rubbing the back of his neck. Vicky's devilish grin turns into a frown.

"Come on. Don't make me go do it all myself." Vicky says.

"Well, it's just… I saw Mabel's reaction. I don't think I want to get too loopy today."

"Don't think about what Mabel wants. Think about what _you_ want." Vicky says.

"Well…" Dipper begins. Vicky cuts him off.

"Remember the pain they put you through? Remember how close you came to being caught because those stupid, judgmental jerks called the cops?"

Despite his attempts to not let Vicky goad him into joining her, Dipper finds himself falling into her web. He remembers the pain his supposed friends put him through. How they judged him and Mabel enough to call the police. And he remembers the hours of planning that he and Vicky spent preparing for their little game. How they worked out all the little details.

"_It would be a shame to let all that planning go to waste._" Dipper thinks.

"Let's go." Dipper says with a smile. The two head off towards the school.

Back at the arcade, Mabel and Timmy are waiting at a table for Mabel's friends to arrive. Tootie and Veronica are playing a game elsewhere.

"So, Timmy. I've been needing to ask you something." Mabel says.

"What is it?"

"Well, it's just. How do you deal with Vicky?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, Dipper and her have gotten fairly close. They're also really weird." Mabel says.

"Weird. Yeah, that's one word for it."

"But how do you, you know, not get creeped out by Vicky when she's being… 'Vicky?'"

Timmy shifts awkwardly in place.

"To tell you the truth, it's not that I tolerate it. I actually like it… I think it's kind of hot when she's like that." Timmy confesses. Mabel laughs at Timmy's response.

"Well, you're no help. Maybe Tootie has an idea."

Mabel waits for Tootie and Veronica to return. The pair of lovers come over and sit down.

"Hello." Tootie says.

"Did you beat the game?" Timmy asks.

"No. Couldn't get the coins in fast enough."

"That sucks." Mabel says.

"I know. Very rude. Why do these games always do that?"

"To trick you into failing and starting over, or maybe buying more coins than you need out of paranoia." Timmy says.

"So Tootie. I need to ask you something." Mabel says.

"What is it?"

"Well, you've dealt with Vicky your whole life. How do you deal with her acting kookoo banana pants?" Mabel says.

"I just try to ignore it. She's loopy, I know. But I still love her."

"Okay. I guess I can be okay if Dipper goes a little crazy sometimes." Mabel says.

Back at the school, Dipper and Vicky have split up. Dipper walks past Ryan's locker as the last of the students enter their next class. Dipper takes out a marker and begins drawing a symbol. Dipper puts the eye of providence on Ryan's locker as a warning. He writes the words "I'm still watching you" beneath the eye. Dipper then puts away the marker before walking further down the hall. He heads towards the classroom of the teacher who irritated him the most. A cruel, older man who liked to passively insult the students who did poorly. Dipper didn't suffer much from him, but the teacher enjoyed mocking Mabel. Several times Mabel had come out of the class on the brink of tears. Dipper found himself forced to suck up to the teacher to get him to lighten the load on Mabel.

Whereas the teacher considered Mabel a failure, he looked upon Dipper as the ideal student. The man felt a sense of pride for Dipper. And now Dipper was going to erase that pride.

Dipper walks over to the class room. Then he turns his cap around and loosens his pants. He turns on his phone and holds it in his hand, ready to record the sounds of the situation that would soon unfold. Dipper takes out a pair of sunglasses and prepares to make his entrance.

"Yo Yo! What's up in the G, dog?!" Dipper says in a stereotypically gangster voice. He comes in dancing a little jig as he walks up to the teacher.

"What's up, Jerry the merry dairy?" Dipper says to his teacher. The old man stutters incoherently. Jerry's favorite student had vanished early in the school year. And now Dipper has returned, blabbering in a voice that Dipper knew irritated the teacher most.

"I, just, I. Huh? Hell?" Jerry mutters out.

"Hell'a Holl'a! Dipster is back, baby! How's it hanging?"

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Jerry asks, finally realizing the insanity that has occurred. He stares in shock as his prized pupil revels in an apparent life of degeneracy.

"Just chilling with me ol' hommies, ya dig?"

"Why the hell are you talking like that?! Where the hell have you been?!"

"I been hanging in the hood! Getting my life where it need to be!"

"Stop that! Stop talking like… like a…"

"Like a what, G? Like a brotha'? Like a gangsta? You oppressing me, man?"

"Just… go to detention!" Jerry shouts out in a quivering voice, unable to handle the situation.

"Yo, Jerry here be oppressing a brotha'!" Dipper says.

"Stop that! Stop talking like a black!" Jerry blabbers out. Jerry then realizes, to his horror, that he just revealed his racism in front of the students, several of whom were black.

Dipper begins laughing, losing all sense of worry at what his family's reaction would be. Tearing down the teacher that Dipper had to deal with for his junior year was worth the trouble. Dipper giggles to himself as he walks out of the room, leaving a shocked teacher and a classroom of dumbfounded students behind. Dipper walks out and heads back to the entrance to wait for Vicky to finish her plan.

Vicky walks up to an old teacher shuffling towards his class. His students have already filled into the room, and now they wait for their elderly teacher to arrive. Vicky cuts him off and hands him a fifty dollar bill. The older male looks up. He's used to taking bribes from students for higher grades, but he hasn't seen her before. A lady in a business suit that looks far too old to be a student.

"What for?" he asks.

"Take the day off. Call in sick."

The teacher shrugs before taking the money and turning around, heading towards the parking lot. Vicky proceeds on her way to the classroom.

In the algebra class, the students wait for their sloth-like teacher to come in. Instead, they find an attractive young woman walking in. Several of the male students look up, far more ready than usual to pay attention to their schoolwork.

"Hi, I'm Ms. Vale." Vicky says in a soft, feminine voice. She eyes her prey; Chad, one of Dipper's friends. A teen who had spent several years in Dimmsdale and knew Vicky for what she was.

"So, are you the substitute?" one of the students asks.

"Sorry, but I'm not. Mr. Harold isn't feeling well today. He's gone home early today, so the class is canceled." Vicky says. The students begin murmuring to themselves before standing up to leave. As Chad walks past, Vicky stops him. He doesn't see the pink irises behind the blue tint of her glasses.

"Sorry, could you help me out with something?" Vicky asks politely. Chad stays behind as the rest of the class walk past. One teen whistles at Chad, figuring he's getting lucky with the secretary. Vicky waits until she's alone with her victim, then she locks the door. Chad holds his arm nervously.

"I, what did you need help with?" he asks. Vicky goes and sits on the table, looking down with a warm smile.

"I, just, I needed to ask you something."

"What is it?"

"Come closer. It's something important."

"I… I don't think we should be doing this."

"Just come closer. I need to ask you something, then you can leave." Vicky says in a needy voice. Chad walks over, averting his eyes. He sits next to her on the table.

"Come closer. I need it to be a secret." Vicky says. Chad leans in, nervous, yet expectant. His hormones have begun to override his sense of judgment.

What is it?" Chad whispers. Vicky leans in close, breathing sensually at his neck as she moves to his ear.

"Will you be my Valentine?" Vicky whispers.

She moves away, smiling as she waits for Chad to figure out the pieces of the puzzles. But the teen isn't thinking about his past and the name of his evil babysitter. He has something much more curved and voluptuous on his mind.

"Well, it's not Valentine's Day, but alright." Chad says.

Vicky grins as she takes out her pink cell phone with a shiny, green skull embedded on the front. Vicky snaps a picture of her and Chad together. Then Vicky smiles deviously as she begins to shed her false persona. Chad watches curiously as she removes her glasses. He looks into her pink irises. Eyes that he's seen only once before. His smile is quickly replaced by an open mouth as his lips quiver in terror. Vicky removes her black wig and smiles monstrously at her prey. Then she lets out a deep, dark cackle as Chad stares in horror. The teen tries to run off, but his panicked hands can't open the door. He turns around, ready for his end as Vicky laughs at him. His mind can't deal with the nightmare unfolding before him. Chad slumps to the floor and faints. Vicky giggles as she lifts him up off the floor and sets him in the front desk. She dusts him off before walking over to the chalkboard. She draws two symbols; the eye of providence, and a bleeding heart. A reminder that Chad's nightmare was real. Vicky snaps one more photo with the unconscious Chad, and then she takes her leave, ready to rejoin Dipper in the parking lot.

Back at the arcade, Mabel's friends have arrived.

"Hey guys!" Mabel shouts as Sofia, Laura, and Jerry walk up. The three take a seat at the table. Veronica and Tootie are off playing a multiplayer game together.

"Hi." Timmy says with a wave.

"It's been a while." Jerry says as he sits down.

"I know. How come you didn't come up at Christmas?" Mabel asks.

"I was spending the week at my aunt's house. A good thing too, considering what happened to Ryan and George."

"Yeah. I'm surprised. Usually Dimmsdale is such a nice place." Timmy says.

"And who might you be?" Jerry asks.

"Timmy Turner."

Jerry and Timmy shake hands as Veronica returns to the table.

"Like, hi there." she says to Mabel's friends.

"Hello. Name's Jerry."

"Veronica. And you two?" Veronica asks while pointing to Mabel's other friends.

"Laura."

"Sofia."

"Nice to meet you." Veronica says as Tootie sits down next to her.

"So, where's your brother?" Jerry asks.

"He's hanging out with his friend."

"How come they don't want to hang out with us?"

"Vicky wanted to see the old town. She's going around with Dipper."

"She? He finally got a girlfriend, eh?" Jerry says. Timmy and Mabel chuckle lightly.

"Actually, Vicky's my girlfriend." Timmy says.

"Oh, all right. Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"So, kind of odd. Having your girlfriend running around with another guy." Jerry says.

"I trust her. She's not the cheating type." Timmy says. As Sofia and Mabel catch up, Timmy receives a message on his phone. He sees a strange picture; a black-haired secretary with a teen around Timmy's age. Timmy wonders if the person sent the picture to the wrong number before he takes a closer look. The secretary smiles with Vicky's signature demonic grin. She bears her teeth like a shark ready to assault her victim. Vicky is in disguise, and she's with a victim. Mabel looks at the picture at his phone.

"Who's that?" Mabel asks.

"Oh, uh, nothing. Must be a wrong number." Timmy says. Mabel looks closer at the picture and recognizes Chad. Mabel's expression changes to one of confusion, then questioning, then worry as she realizes that Dipper and Vicky were in the twins' old school.

"Uh, um." Mabel says nervously. She blows a raspberry and laughs loud and awkwardly.

"Are you okay?" Sofia asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm so fine I blow my mind, hey Mabel!" she shouts.

Back at the high school, Dipper and Vicky walk out to the parking lot. Vicky shows him the before and after pictures of Chad. The one where Chad is expectant and hopeful, and the other where the teen is passed out and sitting in the chair. Dipper chuckles lightly at his old friend's misery.

"So Vicky, want to hear the sound of one man's brain exploding?" Dipper asks. Vicky nods her head expectantly. Dipper takes out his phone and shows Vicky his prank. Vicky listens intently as Dipper's old teacher stutters and yells impotently, completely losing control of the situation. Vicky and Dipper laugh at the memories as they walk towards their car. But Dipper takes a glance out of the corner of his eye. Jeff walks out of the building and spots Dipper's signature hat.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" Jeff shouts.

Dipper knows he should leave him alone. But he doesn't. Dipper grabs Vicky's hand and pulls her back towards the school. The two monsters eye their new victim gleefully.

"Jeff, How's life?!" Dipper asks in a cheerful tone. The twins' old bully looks at him angrily.

"Your girlfriend did a number on me, Dipshit."

"Yeah, that was sexy, wasn't it?" Dipper says. Jeff's anger vanishes in a sea of confusion. Dipper just called Mabel, his twin sister, sexy. Dipper walks up and snakes his hand around Jeff's shoulder. Jeff shoves Dipper away, eliciting a giggle from the mad teen.

"You're so silly, Jeff." Dipper says in a playful tone as he slides his finger delicately across Jeff's cheek.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Jeff asks.

"Just having a bit of fun until I see Mabel later. She's awesome, isn't she? Her silky, creamy skin. That smile; so delicate, yet so fiery. And that voice. It's so beautiful. Like an angel of Paradiso." Dipper says, shuddering with joy as he thinks about Mabel. Jeff backs away, disgusted and shocked at Dipper's behavior.

"What the fuck?" Jeff says.

"Don't worry, little Jeff. Mabel and I will be fine." Dipper says. He eyes Jeff devilishly as Vicky closes in the gap. The two monsters have cornered their opponent.

"You'll never be able to tell a soul." Dipper says with a whisper. Jeff tries to fight his way out, only to receive a fist to the side of his head, courtesy of Vicky. The two giggling friends tower over their opponent as Vicky kicks him several times in the chest.

"Where should we put the body?" Dipper asks.

"Junkyard?"

"Nah, too many witnesses."

"Burn it?"

"The smell might attract someone. Maybe a swamp."

"I don't know. Someone might find it in a couple of years. It might float to the surface."

"Yeah. Maybe a, no; not that. Oh, I know!" Dipper says.

"We'll cut him into small chunks of meat. Then we'll leave the pieces in the cooler in the back of the car. Then, when we head to the beach, we'll rent a boat. We'll head out into the Pacific and dunk the pieces in the water. The current will carry little Jeff away, never to be seen again in California." Dipper says. Jeff tries to fight them back, but Vicky leans her foot into his throat. She takes out a fake weapon, a knife with emeralds grafted into the hilt. Vicky removes her foot as Jeff begins to panic. Dipper kicks his old oppressor in the testicles as he and Vicky move down to face their victim.

"So Jeff, do you want to play?" Vicky asks. Jeff begins crying as he's held in place by Vicky and Dipper. But the two deranged friends spot a car driving into the parking lot. The two move away, leaving their broken enemy to cower in the school. Vicky and Dipper retreat to their car.

"Wee!" Dipper shouts gleefully.

"What a rush." Vicky says. The two laugh together as they drive away.

Back inside, Mabel and Sofia have started a multiplayer game together. The pair are shooting at a giant mechanical spider from their fast moving helicopters. The pair lose their game and, finding that they've run out of tokens, decide to head back to the table. Mabel sits next to Timmy and lets out a worried sigh. Jerry and Laura are off playing a game of their own, giving Mabel an opening to talk about Dipper.

"Still worried about Dipper?" Timmy asks.

"Yeah. It's just, he should have told me."

"He probably knew you wouldn't approve."

"I know he knows, but he could at least be open about it!" Mabel shouts in frustration.

"Don't be too hard on him. The whole 'hanging around with Vicky' thing. I think he's trying not to let his pain get to him."

"I know." Mabel says as she rests her head in her hands.

"Just try to remember that he's still Dipper. There's just… more to him than there used to be."

"Yeah." Mabel says as Laura and Jerry return and sit down.

"So, when are we going to play laser tag? I want to test out my skills." Laura says.

"Skills? You think you can handle the alpha twin?" Mabel says.

The group gets ready to head to the laser tag room. Mabel and Timmy team up and make their way to a corner.

"Prepare for war!" Mabel shouts. The two battle from their corner, shooting at anything that moves into their field of view. Tootie and Veronica stay towards the center and receive a barrage from all sides for choosing the poor location. Jerry, Sofia, and Laura split up and move about the room. Timmy and Mabel rack up the points as they assault their opponents. After ten minutes, the round ends. Mabel's deranged shooting spree gives her the high score.

"One thousand, five hundred points." Mabel announces.

"Damn, you're good." Laura says.

"And damn, I'm hungry." Mabel says.

"You want to order something?" Tootie asks.

"Yeah."

Back at Garry's, Dipper and Vicky wait for their lunch to arrive. George's father walks over with a platter of small pretzels for the two.

"So, are you going to meet up with George later?" Garry asks.

"I don't know, maybe." Dipper says. Despite his anger with George, Dipper knows his old friend had already been broken down. Dipper didn't want to cause further agony, which is why he stayed clear of George when Dipper and Vicky were in the school.

"So, I'll be back with the main course in a couple of minutes." Garry says. Dipper and Vicky relax, satisfied with their dark fun.

"So, how did it feel to finally kick Jeff's ass?" Vicky asks.

"It felt horrible. Revenge cannot ease my pain." Dipper says in a mockingly repentant voice. Dipper and Vicky laugh to themselves as they wait for their meal.

"Yeah, it was nice." Dipper says.

"You know Vicky, I've always wondered. When did you and Timmy first get together?"

Vicky's eyes widen with shock at his bold question.

"Well… I was around eighteen." Vicky says. She lets Dipper do the math, and he places the age of Timmy near twelve.

"Dang. I know I'm being the pot calling the kettle black here, but it's kind of weird hearing it."

"Yeah. That's why no one else knows."

"Now we're in the same ship together. If one of the mystery twins spills the beans, then you can bring us down with you."

"Mutually assured destruction."

As the pair laugh and joke with each other a familiar, unwanted face shows itself. George, having taken the day off after feeling a bout of depression, walks into the restaurant. He has taken to calling in sick days and hanging out at his father's restaurant. George walks in, not spotting Dipper and Vicky. George sits down at a table and waits for his dad to walk over. The teen sinks into his seat and lets out a pained sigh. Garry walks over and tries to talk with his son.

"Hey."

"Hi, Dad." George says with a sullen voice.

"You keeping your grades up?"

"Yes."

"Are there any tests today?"

"No. I've got everything done. Now can I just get some food?"

Dipper feels his heart crack. Even though Chad was the one who unveiled the twins, Dipper was harshest on George. Dipper buries his pain; revealing a sign of weakness now may give George the courage to stand up to Dipper.

"So George, I take it you didn't notice your friend's back." Garry says. Garry points at Dipper and Vicky. George turns around and, upon seeing the two sources of many of his nightmares, nearly falls off the table.

"Whoa, there. Are you feeling alright?" Garry asks.

"Y-yes. I'm fine. Just got caught off balance." George says.

"Why don't you go hang out with them?" Garry asks. Garry turns and looks at the two again. Dipper and Vicky grin viciously.

Dipper pats the seat next to him while continuing to eye George menacingly. George slowly steps away from his table and walks towards his old friend's table. He shakes slightly as Vicky and Dipper gaze silently at him.

"So George, what's been happening since our last dance?" Dipper asks. George doesn't answer.

"Come now George, this is sacred ground. I'm not going to fight you when your dad makes such good sandwiches." Dipper says, licking his lips in anticipation.

"So George, come on. You can tell me." Dipper says. George begins standing up to leave.

"Sit back down, wait for your food, and speak." Dipper commands. George obeys the orders given to him by Dipper, fearing the wrath of his ex-friend.

"So George. Besides the therapy, what else has been happening?" Dipper asks.

"Nothing, really."

"Is Jeff causing any more problems?"

George shakes his head.

"Good. Want some pretzels? I know you like pretzels." Dipper says.

"So Dipper, what do you want to do next?" Vicky asks.

"No idea. I guess we'll just go back to the arcade."

"Sounds like fun."

George stares down at the plate of pretzels. He takes one and eats it. Vicky and Dipper continue speaking around him.

Back at the arcade, Mabel and Timmy are fighting against each other in a virtual reality game. The two carry plastic sticks that show up as swords of light on the screen.

"You know, it just occurred to me." Timmy says.

"What?" Mabel says.

"We could just find some sticks outside and basically do this for free."

"You're just annoyed because you keep losing."

"Well, that's just a part of it." Timmy says as Mabel bests him again.

Tootie and Veronica battle against Laura and Sofia in a tag team laser battle. Tootie takes aim at Laura's stomach and scores the final point.

"Yes!" Tootie shouts as the pair win the match.

"Crap. I thought I was good." Laura says with a defeated puff.

"Don't worry. You almost won." Tootie says.

"Yeah. You're, like, really good." Veronica says.

"I know. Those Pines twins, though. Their skill. It's unnatural."

"I know, right? Our friend Trixie has stupidly fast reaction time. She beat Devil Never Dies on the hardest difficulty, and the twins managed to beat her." Tootie says.

Back in Garry's restaurant, George has opened up slightly to Dipper and Vicky. George can see the remnants of his old friend. But Dipper is changed. He has a hint of malice in every word, and he's arrogant and prideful.

"That was good." Dipper says as he finishes his sandwich.

"Yeah." Vicky says.

"So, you want to get going?" Dipper asks.

"Sure." Vicky replies. Dipper then waits for George's reply.

"I was asking both of you." Dipper says with a grin. George looks at him before shifting his gaze down. His heart races in his chest as his father comes over to the table.

"You got the check?" Dipper asks.

"No need. It's on the house." Garry replies.

"Thanks. We're going to get going. We're heading to the arcade."

"Alright. George, why don't you go with?"

George looks up at his father before looking back to Dipper.

"Come on. We'll have fun!" Dipper says. George doesn't want to incur the wrath of Dipper, which might drag his father into it. Dipper and Vicky stand up and walk with George outside. Dipper and Vicky escort him over to their car.

"Please. I won't tell anyone. I haven't said anything." George says with a wavering voice.

"We know. I just want to hang out with an old friend." Dipper says with a sly grin.

"Please, just let me go." George says. Dipper sighs in aggravation.

"Fine, get out of here." Dipper says. George flees as Dipper and Vicky get in the car and drive off.

"So, back to the arcade?" Vicky says.

"Yeah. Hopefully they haven't played everything already." Dipper says.

Back in the arcade, Mabel is waiting for Dipper and Vicky to return. She's worried. She hasn't heard back from them since Vicky sent the message. Dipper and Vicky could have been caught. They could be in jail for all she knows. Mabel grunts in irritation.

"Still worried about them?" Timmy asks.

"Yeah. Dipper is going to get such a talking to when he gets back." Mabel says.

"Just remember. If you're going to beat him up, make sure I'm there to watch." Timmy says. Mabel laughs and shoves Timmy playfully.

Dipper and Vicky walk through the doors of the building. The pair take a left towards the endless noise from the arcade machines. Dipper spots Mabel lounging on a bench, waiting for him. Her eyes are closed, so Dipper takes the opportunity to sneak up on her. Dipper sits down on the other side of Mabel, away from the door. Mabel turns and looks towards the doorway and doesn't spot Dipper. Then she turns to find his face centimeters from hers. She punches the face on instinct and pushes away before realizing who it was. Dipper laughs in amusement.

"Yeah, I suppose I deserved that." Dipper says. But Mabel isn't smiling. She looks angry.

"I, uh… sorry?" Dipper mutters out.

"You goofus! You could have gotten caught! Or arrested! I should beat you up for that!" Mabel shouts. Dipper instantly regrets his decision to indulge his dark side. He looks away in shame of his decision. Vicky comes over and takes a seat next to him.

"Hey, take it easy on him. I'm the one that dragged him into this mess." Vicky says.

"What?" Mabel says accusingly.

"Yeah. He wanted to back out. I sort of convinced him to go through with it."

Mabel grumbles under her breath as she stands up. She walks over and faces Vicky, who looks up like a guilt-ridden toddler about to receive timeout.

"Vicky, you're a farthead." Mabel says before sitting back down. Vicky suppresses a laugh as Mabel sighs, releasing her anger in deep breaths. Mabel then leans into Dipper's shoulder.

"So, Mabel…" Dipper starts. Mabel looks up at him with a curious gaze.

"Remember Jerry Aaron?" Dipper asks.

"That jerk teacher? Why wouldn't I remember him?" Mabel asks, giving Dipper a curious gaze. Dipper takes his phone out and looks through his recorded messages.

"Want to hear the sound of ol' Jerry's brain short-circuiting?" Dipper asks. Mabel frowns slightly as Dipper begins playing the message. She almost wonders who has the strange gangster voice before she recognizes that it's Dipper. She listens in as Jerry, who hadn't seen Dipper for nearly a year, watches his prized student blabber in a gangster voice. She listens in on Dipper's strange ramblings as the teacher stutters and mumbles, unable to process the situation. Then she hears it; the teacher attempts to insult Dipper by comparing him to "a black." Just as Mabel lets out a laugh she stifles it, sounding like a spitting horse. Mabel looks at Dipper with a guilty frown.

"It was… funny." Mabel says. Her frown turns into a mischievous grin as she thinks over the scenario, replaying it in her head. She giggles guiltily, knowing that the teacher who made her life hell the year before will probably be fired.

"I'm sorry about running off and doing this without telling you. I won't do anything crazy like this again."

"Well, it's not that you have to stop _completely_, bro. Just don't get too crazy. I can't afford to pay your bail."

"That's okay. I can break out."

"So, bro. Up for a game of laser tag?"

"Always ready."

Dipper and Mabel spend the rest of the day together. At the end of the day, Dipper drives the group back to the motel before calling his mother.

"Yes?" Mrs. Pines says from the other end.

"You ready to come back?"

"Actually… maybe you could get my bags?"

"Huh? Why?"

"I don't think I'm going to the beach with you. I'm going to stay here for the week." Mrs. Pines says.

"Oh. Alright. I'll be over in a few minutes." Dipper says.

Dipper begins packing his mother's bags.

"What's up, Dip?" Mabel says.

"Mom's not coming with us to the beach. She's staying with Dad for the rest of the week."

"How rude. Ditching us." Mabel says. Dipper gives Mabel a kiss before taking the bags into the car.

"See you later." Dipper says as he backs out of the parking space. Dipper drives back to the house, and he realizes something. The place no longer feels like _his_ house. He feels like a stranger as he watches the place for activity. Dipper steps out of the car when he spots his mother open the door. Dipper walks up and hands over her suitcase before taking Waddles' leash. Dipper walks back to the car and lifts Waddles up into the back. He turns back and sees his family. His mother stands by with her husband. Dipper gives a wave to the both of them, but Mrs. Pines is the only one who waves back.

"So Waddles, how'd you like the old place?" Dipper asks.

Waddles oinks from the back of the vehicle.

"I thought you'd say that." Dipper says happily as he drives back to the motel.

Timmy, Vicky, and Mabel are taking turns using the twins' laptop to play a game. Tootie and Veronica sit on the bed across from the three while watching the public access news. Dipper opens the door and walks in.

"Hey, what's up?" Dipper asks.

"Not much. Just playing a game, waiting for you." Mabel responds.

"So, you want to go to dinner?"

"Yeah, I'm getting hungry."

"Same." Vicky replies. The group leaves and heads back to Garry's restaurant. The tired manager is greeting his customers at the door when Dipper and Mabel walk up.

"Hello again." Garry says.

"Work all Day?" Dipper asks.

"Yep. It pays the bills." Garry says.

"Alright. We'll just get another outdoors section." Dipper says. The group pushes the tables together as they wait for their server. Dipper sits between Vicky and Mabel facing the window.

"So Dipper, what did you do today?" Veronica asks.

"Me and Vicky… sort of had fun. 'Vicky' fun." Dipper says.

"Like, what does that mean?" Veronica says. Dipper takes out his phone and hands it over to Veronica, who plays the recording of Dipper's meeting with his teacher. Vicky shows the before and after pictures of her meeting with Chad to Timmy and Mabel. Timmy suppresses a laugh while Mabel frowns at Vicky's psychotic prank.

"You have an annoying tendency to corrupt your friends, Vicky." Tootie says.

"What can I say, sis. I'm very persuasive." Vicky says with a proud smile.

The waiter comes over to take the order since Garry is busy elsewhere.

"So, what'll it be?"

"Whatever's free." Vicky replies.

"Well, that would be bread and water, but Garry is a fan of burning hot peppers. If you can successfully eat one, the meal's free."

"Alright. I'll take that bet." Vicky says.

"I'll go too." Dipper says.

The waiter takes the groups orders. After the waiter returns with the food, he waits to watch Vicky and Dipper try and eat their hot peppers. Dipper takes a small nibble and, after several seconds, begins to deeply regret his decision. He starts downing his glass of water and sucking on the ice cubes. Vicky, never one to let common sense get in the way of winning, eats the pepper in one bite, taking care to chew thoroughly before swallowing. Vicky then begins sipping her water glass every time she feels the burn coming. She continues to slurp the water in between eating her meal.

"Shit, are you even affected by it?" Tootie asks.

"If I wasn't, I wouldn't be drinking a gallon of water."

Vicky continues pouring glasses of water. Her face is burning bright red and she can only manage to eat half of her burger. Mabel and Dipper snicker at Vicky's self-created misery. The group doesn't notice that the twins' bully has returned.

Jeff spots the twins and approaches the table, followed by his criminal friends. Dipper glares into the eyes of his opponent and smirks. He stands up and walks over to meet Jeff.

"Hello. I see you needed help." Dipper says. Jeff doesn't respond; he instead charges towards Dipper. Vicky dashes past her friend and smashes her fist into Jeff's face. Dipper watches as his opponent falls to the sidewalk. Onlookers gasp and whisper to themselves as Jeff stumbles back to his feet.

"That was funny." Dipper says flatly.

"I'm gonna kill you, Dipshit." Jeff says as he holds his sleeve across his bleeding nose.

"You are sooo… boring." Dipper says. Jeff's friends stare confusedly at Dipper. Their victim doesn't seem fazed by them.

"I mean, I always wondered… why? Why us? Why the mystery twins?" Dipper starts. He speaks in a calm, cold voice barely above a whisper.

"It's just, like, I get other people. Even the ones that piss me off. But you? I always wondered. Pride? Envy? Trauma? But it's not that. I realize now. It's not abuse or trauma that made you what you are. You are you because that's all you can ever hope to be. You're just pointless. You aren't anything but a waste of meat and air. You are, simply, garbage." Dipper says. His voice carries an aura of hate that Jeff's friends aren't used to seeing from Dipper. The group that was planning on assaulting the Pines' twin has become frightened of him.

"What he said." Vicky adds while pointing to Dipper.

"Now, would you kindly fuck off? I'm going to order dessert." Dipper asks. Jeff's goons move closer to the teen. Dipper rolls his eyes while walking up. He picks his ghost pepper up from the table. Dipper squeezes the pepper in his hands, making sure to cover his fingers in the juices and burning inners. Dipper stares at his enemies silently, waiting for them to make the first move. But none of them react; none of them attempt to assault Dipper and his friend, and the standoff that developed nearly resolves itself. But then Jeff does something that Dipper cannot forgive. Waddles walks up and smells Jeff's shoes. The teen looks down at the creature in surprise and disgust. But then he remembers the pig from earlier; the twins pet. Jeff pulls his foot back, ready to kick Waddles with all his might. Dipper anticipates his enemy's move and pushes Jeff back. Dipper stands between the pig and Jeff.

"You were going to kick my pig, weren't you?" Dipper says. Before Jeff can respond, Dipper speaks again.

"_Eye_ am going to get you!" Dipper says in a high pitched witch voice. Dipper lunges at the bully.

"Oh my God!" Veronica shouts. Dipper sends Jeff to the pavement. Dipper slowly rubs his fingers into Jeff's eyes, forcing the burning spices into Jeff's retinas.

"I bet you didn't _see_ that one coming!" Dipper says with a deranged laugh. Dipper stands up as the rest of his opponents close in.

"We're having dumbass for dessert!" Vicky shouts as she tackles two of Jeff's friends, dragging them to the ground. Vicky stands and charges at the last of Jeff's allies, bringing him down as she bashes his face about. The other two stand up and, seeing their friends in need, run away from the brawl. Jeff stands up as his eyes begin burning. He desperately tries to rub the hot spices out of his eyes, but no matter how much he rubs or cries, the burning doesn't stop. It feels like ants chewing at his retinas. Dipper giggles at the unfolding scene as Jeff screams in pain. Jeff stumbles around, flinging fists blindly in the air with his free hand. But Dipper pulls back far enough that Jeff cannot reach him. Jeff yells in anguish as his rage turns into sobs of agony. The restaurant has become a frenzied mess as people flee the impromptu arena while several patrons begin to call the police.

"Time to fly!" Vicky says. Timmy and Mabel stand up from the table and begin to flee with Vicky. Tootie and Veronica follow them as Dipper giggles at Jeff's misery. Dipper casually drops several ten dollar bills at the table.

"Don't worry, Jeff! I sell _see_ shells by the _see_ shore! Let me give you some _insight._ Don't piss off a guy with ghost peppers!" Dipper says. Mabel runs back and drags Dipper away as he continues shouting puns to Jeff.

"_Eye_ scream! You scream! Now you need some _eyes _cream! Get it?" Dipper yells as the group runs back to the car. Dipper and Mabel hoist their pig into the back before rushing inside the passenger seats. The group piles in; Vicky pulls out of the parking lot and drives away. Dipper rolls down the window as they pass by Jeff, who's swaying back and forth in pain as he sits on the pavement.

"Yo, Jeff! Need an _eyes _pack?" Dipper shouts through the open window. Vicky begins speeding away from the scene of the arena. Vicky and Dipper laugh together as Mabel and Timmy watch awkwardly.

"Hey Dipper, what did the dumbass say to the eye doctor?" Vicky says.

"What did he say?"

"Oh, fuck! Oh God, it burns!" Vicky cries in mock agony.

Dipper laughs at her joke before turning to Mabel. Dipper's smile fades as Mabel looks away from him. Seeing the full extent of Dipper's changed nature pierces her heart like a dagger. Mabel leans back in her seat as Vicky drives back to the motel.

Timmy and Vicky step out of the car and head back to their room.

"Sorry we had to leave." Dipper says.

"It's not your fault that jerk screwed with us." Tootie says. Dipper turns his gaze away guiltily.

"It… kind of is. Vicky and I sort of… made him break down crying back at the school." Dipper says. Tootie chuckles awkwardly at Dipper's confession.

"Well, he _was _a jerk. But still, you and Vicky have to ring it in. You're too loopy together." Tootie replies.

"Yeah, I know." Dipper says as he lowers his head in shame.

"Well, I'm getting tired. I want to get to bed now."

"I'm fine." Veronica says. Tootie looks at Veronica with a heated gaze; a gaze of need and want. Veronica bites her bottom lip as she realizes that Tootie desires time together, alone.

"I should pack it in for the night, though." Veronica says. Tootie and her head back to their room. Dipper walks with Mabel and Waddles into the room together. Dipper helps Waddles back onto the bed.

Dipper looks towards his sister as she settles into the bed with Waddles. He feels his rage settle; the anger and sadistic joy fades, replaced by concern for his sister and guilt for his actions. What's worse is Mabel isn't confronting him on his actions. Dipper could deal with her anger, or her ignoring him out of frustration. But the silent worry digs deep into his heart.

"I… I kind of fucked up, didn't I?" Dipper says.

"Yep." Mabel says quietly, turning to look at Dipper with a blank gaze. Dipper tries to figure out her emotions. Worry? Anger? Confusion? Shock? Mabel's face offers no insight into what she's feeling. Dipper turns his head down, thinking back on the day with anger at his past self. He lets out a pained shudder before burying his emotions. Mabel stands up and heads to the bathroom to brush her teeth, and to avoid any confrontation with Dipper.

"Sorry about nearly getting your butt kicked by a jackass, Waddles." Dipper says. Waddles oinks lightly before curling up. Mabel returns from the bathroom and sits on the bed. Dipper leaves to wash up and brush his teeth. He stares into the mirror, looking at his reflection in irritation.

"Wow, good job there you big dumb dumb." Dipper says to his reflection. Dipper finishes in the bathroom and returns to the bed. Mabel keeps her space from Dipper, who decides to focus on watching the television over confronting the issue between them. The twins watch their show long into the night. Dipper lets out a yawn as he sinks lower into the bed.

"You ready for bed, Dipper?" Mabel asks.

"Yeah." Dipper says. Mabel shuts the T.V. off as Dipper turns off the light. The twins wait, silently, trying to fall asleep and ignore the events of the day. Dipper hopes they can simply forget what had happened. But he can't; he plays over the events in his head, realizing how arrogant he was. How he nearly let Waddles get hurt; how Mabel buries her usual bubbly emotions beneath a blank face.

"_What the fuck, Dipper._" the tired teen thinks. Dipper and Mabel fall asleep long after the rest of their friends.

Come Tuesday, Dipper and Mabel are snoozing late into the morning. The rest of the group had gone to eat breakfast without the twins. Vicky selfishly dragged the rest of the group along; the redhead wasn't willing to wait for the twins to wake up. But now the group waits outside the twins' door and falling behind schedule. Vicky had wanted to be on the road by now. Vicky grumbles before walking up to the door.

"Vicky, let's just wait a little more." Timmy says.

"No." Vicky responds flatly. She takes in a deep breath.

"WAKE UP, PINES!" Vicky screams. She then places her head to the door. She hears the sound of mumbling in the room. Then she hears an audible "oh shit!" from Dipper. The twins scramble about for several minutes in their room as they hurriedly dress. Vicky returns to the car and gets in the driver's seat. Timmy takes the front passenger seat as Tootie and Veronica pile into the back. Dipper and Mabel come running out the door with Waddles. The twins place their potbellied friend in the back of the car before getting in.

"Sorry!" the twins shout in unison. Vicky hands the two a couple of sandwiches before driving off. The twins eat silently in the car, ignoring the conversations occurring around them.

"So Vicky, what do you want to do first?" Tootie asks.

"We'll just go swimming today. I need to meet up with an old friend tomorrow." Vicky says.

"An old friend? Or an 'old friend?'" Tootie says, using finger quotes.

"First one, hopefully the second." Vicky says.

"What does that mean?" Tootie asks.

"I want to meet up with Jess. We used to hang out together when I was sixteen. She's pretty chill."

"You had a friend?" Tootie says in a shocked voice.

"Yeah? What of it?" Vicky responds in an offended tone.

"Well, it's just, I kind of thought you only cared about yourself."

"Well, we weren't close. But we did have fun talking about how to mess with kids." Vicky says.

"What, did you have, like, an evil babysitters club?" Mabel asks.

"No. She mainly picked on her brothers. Besides, we've been catching up on MyFace. Since we were going to the beach anyways, I figured we could meet up."

"Alright." Mabel says.

Vicky continues the drive to the beach while talking with Timmy and Tootie. The twins speak with everyone but themselves. An uneasy silence builds between the twins as they ignore the issues between them. By the time they arrive, it's already five o'clock. Vicky pulls up to the hotel; the building is tall, looming over the beach like a watch tower. Veronica convinced her mother to pay for the trip, begging and pleading like a spoiled kid until her parents gave in. Veronica escorts the group to the front desk. The security guard is nearly ready to kick the twins out for having a pig with them when Veronica flashes him the keycard for the penthouse suite and sends the guard away.

"It helps to have friends in high places." Dipper says.

"No problem." Veronica replies. Dipper and Mabel escort Waddles into their room, a space larger than Mabel's entire apartment and nearly the size of their old house. Dipper whistles in awe as he moves about the room. He finds a mini-fridge in the bedroom. Mabel and Waddles walk in and get on the bed. Dipper looks through the refrigerator and sees something. Dipper takes out a bottle of whiskey and opens it, smelling the strong beverage. Dipper gags at the smell before putting the drink back.

"Strong stuff." Dipper says.

"Yeah, I bet." Mabel says as she plays with Waddles. Dipper sits at the side of the bed, not making eye contact with Mabel as he sits in thought. Mabel turns on the television and begins searching through the channels. She lands on a rerun of the Duck-tective trilogy. Dipper and Mabel sit silently, watching the first movie without quoting it, a first for the twins.

"We should get ready. Don't need to keep them waiting again." Dipper says.

"Yeah." Mabel says. The twins unload their bags and grab the money for lunch. They meet up with the group in the hallway before heading down to the restaurant. Veronica takes them up to the balcony of the restaurant, which overlooks the rest of the tables. It feels less like a part of the restaurant and more like the rich and famous overlooking people of lower social standing. Dipper looks over the menu.

"Where are the prices?" Dipper asks.

"It's part of the hotel service." Veronica says.

"Nice."

After the meal, the group head back to their rooms. Dipper and Mabel bring Waddles a salad from the restaurant as the third Duck-tective movie plays. Dipper can't stand the awkward silence any longer. He begins quoting the movie to himself. He replays every piece of dialogue as he watches the movie. Near the end of the film, Mabel has joined him in whispering the dialogue together. The small piece of normalcy bridges the gap that has developed between the twins. As the movie comes to a close, Dipper turns off the light. Waddles lies between the two twins; Dipper focuses his gaze on the pig, not being able to look Mabel in the eyes at the moment.

"Sorry Waddles." Dipper says to the pig. Dipper moves in and kisses the pig apologetically on the head. Mabel stifles a laugh at the sight of her brother kissing the pig. She finds it too difficult to remain angry at her brother, so she turns around and looks away. Dipper holds Waddles protectively as the trio fall asleep.

Dipper wakes up to the wet sensation of Waddles licking his face. Dipper gets dressed and takes his pig down and outside. Dipper hums and mumbles to himself while Waddles looks around, smelling the grass and nibbling on random sticks and leaves.

"Come on Waddles. Hurry up and we can go have breakfast."

Waddles, however, is much more interested in smelling the ground. It takes several minutes before the pig finally urinates. Dipper takes the pig back up to the twins' hotel room. Dipper comes in to find Mabel ordering breakfast.

"I want two orders of pancakes, a large order of French fries, and some non-alcoholic cocktails."

"What kind?"

"I don't know. Just make sure it's fancy and isn't going to get us smashed."

Dipper smiles warmly at seeing Mabel's usual bubbly self. Dipper takes Waddles up onto the bed and sits down near Mabel.

"Uh, good morning." Dipper says.

"Morning." Mabel replies, looking away.

"So, do the rest know about your room service idea?"

"Yeah. Veronica and Tootie called and said they were 'staying in.' Quote unquote."

"And Timmy and Vicky are doing whatever the heck it is they do. Fighting, making love. Sounds the same."

"She loves to hurt and she hurts to love."

"She's an odd one."

Mabel scoots over and rests her head on Dipper's shoulder. Dipper wraps her in a hug.

"I'm sorry."

"I know."

The server knocks on the door as Waddles runs up and sits by the door, awaiting the food. Dipper takes the plates into the room and gives Mabel her breakfast. He looks over the soda bottle with foreign writing on it.

"Huh, I wonder where this is from." Dipper says. He hands the bottle over to Mabel.

"It's French."

"Oh."

Mabel smirks at her brother's obliviousness as she prepares two glasses of the drink. Mabel hands her brother a glass.

"Cheers." Mabel says. The two glasses clang together.

"Pineapple… strawberry… something." Dipper says.

"It's good."

"Yeah, I like it a lot. I wonder how much it is to buy."

"We'll look it up later."

After the meal, the twins get ready to head for the beach. Dipper wears a dark blue, plain swimsuit while his sister goes for a vibrant pink bikini that leaves little to the imagination. Dipper looks at his sister and blushes; he feels the twitch in his swimsuit and looks away, trying to keep down his erection. Mabel looks him over and stifles a laugh at her brother's embarrassment. The awkward situation lets Mabel forget why she's been avoiding Dipper.

"Need a 'hand,' bro?" Mabel asks.

"Uh… really?" Dipper says in a hopeful voice. Mabel walks over to help Dipper with his problem.

Back in the hallway, Vicky and Timmy have joined up with Tootie and Veronica. Timmy's back has several scars from lovemaking with his deranged girlfriend.

"What's taking them so long?" Timmy asks. After a couple of minutes, Dipper and Mabel come out of the room.

"Woop! Time to go!" Mabel says. Dipper walks with a relaxed face, content and happy.

"Are you finally talking again?" Veronica asks.

"Yeah. We're… we're getting there." Dipper says.

The group makes their way down to the beach. Mabel and Dipper dash into the water as Timmy helps Vicky with her sunscreen. The group plays in the water for several hours. Dipper and Mabel enjoy the time in the waves, ignoring the problem between them. Mabel drags herself to the shore, tired from her poor night's sleep. Dipper remains in the water, enjoying the rocking of the tide as he bobbles up and down with the waves. Mabel rests on the beach, soaking in the sun. She finds her view blocked by a shadow. She opens her eyes to find a tanned, black haired muscular man with an arrogant grin.

"Hello there, you pretty little thing." he says.

"Sorry, I already have a boyfriend." Mabel says.

"There's no need to lie, sweetie." the creepy man says. He leans down and begins lightly brushing his hand over Mabel's cheek. She pushes his hand away as Dipper and Vicky walk up to the man. Dipper walks in front of the disgusting person and glares into his eyes.

"What are you doing?" Dipper asks.

"Fuck off." the mad idiot says.

"She's behind you." Dipper says.

"Like I'm falling for that."

"No… _she_. Bright orange hair pulled up into a ponytail. A sly, sultry voice. And that laugh. The laugh of Hell itself." Dipper says as his begins smirking at the man. The man's legs shake in terror as he looks around and finds, to his horror, that the truth was being told. The man faints and falls into the sand as Vicky and Dipper snicker. Vicky drags the man several feet away and leaves him to the side.

"Uh, who is that?" Mabel asks.

"Some guy who punched Timmy a couple years back."

"Shit." Mabel says, knowing Vicky wouldn't have gone easy on anyone that hurt Timmy.

"Yeah. I kind of lost it. Badly." Vicky admits.

"Double shit." Mabel says. Vicky was terrifying enough when she was in control of her emotions.

"How'd you know he would be here?" Mabel asks.

"I found him on MyFace. He moved down here after we met up a couple more times. Pretty sure he thinks I'm a demon by now."

"So that's why you wanted to come to this beach."

"Yep. That and Jess."

"Your actual friend?"

"Yeah. She's fun."

Dipper sits down on the beach next to his sister as Vicky goes back in the water. Dipper smirks at the man who tried to seduce Mabel as he stirs and stands up, wondering if his encounter with the redhead was simply a hallucination. He walks off the beach, confused and questioning his sanity. The twins sit silently together for the rest of the day as their friends exhaust themselves in the water. The group returns to the hotel. Mabel and Dipper stay in their room and order room service again. Ten minutes later, a server comes to their room. Dipper opens the door for the waiter, who comes in and stares at the pig wandering around the room.

"Uh, why?" the waiter says.

"Because he's cute." Dipper says. The waiter shrugs before taking the cart of food into the room. Dipper gives Waddles his dinner before joining with Mabel up on the bed. The two scoot together and silently watch the television while eating. Once the twins are finished, they set their plates on the table next to the bed.

"Should we be, like, taking the plates outside? Or something?" Mabel says.

"Maybe we'll just leave it by the door." Dipper says. After dropping the plates off near the door, Dipper returns to the bed and looks towards Mabel. Now there was no avoiding the uncomfortable air between the two.

"Are we okay?" Dipper asks.

"Yeah." Mabel says. Dipper stretches out a hand to reach for Mabel. Mabel pulls closer as Dipper cups her face affectionately. The warmth of his hand sends tingles through Mabel's belly. Her breath is on his face; the hint of strawberry flavored toothpaste fills Dipper's airways. Dipper lets out a relieved sigh.

"How come you did it?" Mabel asks. Dipper looks back on the day. He could have ignored Jeff; Vicky and Dipper were already closer to the car than to Dipper's bully. But then Jeff yelled at Dipper, catching his attention. So Dipper went to confront Jeff. He wanted to repay the pain Jeff had caused him. He wanted to watch Jeff fall apart and when the bully did, Dipper felt a bolt of ecstasy. He enjoyed it; even during dinner, Dipper felt good hurting Jeff.

"I… I don't know why. It's just… I saw him walking outside. He yelled at me again. I wanted to mess with him. To make him regret every time he made our lives hell. It was all kind of a blur. We just cornered him and screwed around for a while." Dipper says.

"Dipper, you idiot." Mabel says. In the darkness, Dipper can see Mabel's gaze. She pierces through the hardened shell around Dipper's heart, reaching in and dragging him away from his darker self. Mabel wraps her arms around Dipper, pulling him close.

"Dipper, don't do that again."

"I won't. I promise."

Dipper turns around to avoid breathing in Mabel's face all night. Mabel drags him closer as she digs into his chest.

"Thanks for protecting Waddles." Mabel says groggily.

"It's my fault he almost got kicked." Dipper says guiltily.

"It is, but Jeff's the psycho who decided to do it. So thanks. Just no more… 'Vickying.'"

"I know. Goodnight."

"Sleep tight."

Dipper sighs in relief as the twins fall asleep. Dipper's dreams take him on a bizarre journey. He walks through an ash covered landscape, stumbling about as he tries to find his way. His ears are pointed like an elf's. He makes his way towards a mountain. He climbs the volcano as it spews fumes and fire into the sky. Mabel travels with Dipper. She looks similar to him; pointed ears, old fashioned clothing, and large, hairy feet. The twins make their way into the heart of the volcano. Dipper dangles the necklace with the eye of providence over the chasm leading down into the volcano. His sister goads him to destroy the evil power. Yet Dipper fails in his quest. He takes the eye for himself as a gangly creature comes forward. It looks like Dipper, but decrepit, hunched over, hairless, and pale. And then the two Dippers take out lightsabers and begin to duel as the twins' friends watch and cheer.

Dipper awakens from his bizarre dream and stares at the eye on the table by his bed. It's leaning against a lamp and facing the twins, almost like it's looking at them. Dipper shoves the thing down before lying back in the bed.

Later, Vicky and Timmy leave the group to meet up with Vicky's deranged friend. Vicky and Timmy walk towards the coffee shop and sit down. Jess, a blonde with a perpetual frown, walks over and sits down by the pair.

"Hey." she says. Her voice carries the same sly, vileness that Vicky's does. The voice from a person who seems to be, at best, annoyed by everyone around them.

"Hi Jess. What's up?"

"Not much. Brothers are still trying to get revenge. One of them finally got the balls to get a lawyer."

Vicky laughs at her like-minded friend's craziness.

"Does he have any proof?"

"Not enough for a jail sentence, but I'll probably end up paying him off just in case. That worked with George and Jimmy."

"Money. The root of all happiness."

"So enough about my playthings, what's new with your toys?"

"Not much. Most of them just go silent when they spot me. Surprised they haven't all gotten together and come after me."

"You threatened at most a hundred kids with axes and swords. I'm pretty sure they all think you're Satan."

Vicky and Timmy laugh together.

"What happened to that one kid? The one you really hated?"

"Who? I didn't hate any of the kids. I just liked to fuck with them."

"There was that one boy. Some pink wearing fruit."

Timmy and Vicky snicker together.

"What? What's funny?"

"Hi." Timmy says with a wave.

"And who are you?"

"Pink wearing fruit."

"And… what?"

Jess's brain seems to malfunction as her face distorts in confusion.

"Yeah. We're a match made in that other place." Vicky says.

"I… how? I thought you two hated each other."

"Well, one thing lead to another, and Vicky and I are together."

"And… she threatened to kill you."

"Not really. She just swung some fake weapons in my general direction."

"Just… are you completely insane?" Jess asks Timmy.

"I think so."

Vicky chuckles at Timmy's response.

"Yeah. Lot of crazy crap happened over the years." Vicky says.

"I can see that. How'd you meet? And is he old enough?"

"I started renting a room in his house a couple of years ago. We just naturally hit it up."

"Naturally?" Jess says. She chuckles in disbelief at the absurdity unfolding.

"Hey, I don't criticize your relationships." Vicky responds. She folds her arms, offended by her friend's behavior.

"Do you have anyone?" Timmy asks.

"What? No, not really."

Vicky and her like-minded friend continue to talk long into the day. Back at the hotel, Dipper and Mabel relax in the Jacuzzi near the swimming pool.

"What I don't get is why have a pool when you already have the ocean right over there." Dipper says.

"Because logic and thinking don't matter when there's money to be made."

The twins laugh as they are joined by Veronica and Tootie.

"Aw, yeah." Tootie says as she tips her head back, fully enjoying the heated water.

"It's like you're becoming a hardboiled egg." Mabel says. She relaxes her head on Dipper's shoulder.

"I wonder, if we got Waddles in here, would people start to think we were cooking ham?" Tootie says. Dipper and Mabel laugh together.

"Extended use cannot be good." Dipper says.

"Probably end up sterilizing you." Mabel replies.

"Well then, no need for condoms."

Veronica and Tootie awkwardly laugh along to the twins. After several minutes, Dipper and Mabel jump into the swimming pool. Dipper begins shaking at the sudden jolt of cold as his body adjusts to the temperature change.

"That was a bad idea." Mabel says.

"You're gonna need a warm blanket tonight." Tootie says from the comfort of the hot tub. Dipper and Mabel begin swimming laps together while Veronica and Tootie stay in the hot tub. Tootie looks at Veronica and smirks.

"What are you-"

Veronica lets out a squeak as Tootie slides her hand down Veronica's bikini bottom. The twins are too focused on swimming to notice Tootie and Veronica's exhibitionist fun. After a couple of minutes, Dipper and Mabel leave the pool. Tootie removes her hand from Veronica's neither regions as the twins return to the hot tub.

"Awe yeah." Mabel says as she steps back into the tub.

"That hits the spot." Dipper says.

"I'm glad you two are talking again." Tootie says.

"Yeah. Can't hate him forever." Mabel says.

"And I've decided apologize to Waddles every day for a year."

Veronica, Tootie, and Mabel laugh at Dipper's very serious statement. After several hours switching between the pool and hot tub, Mabel and Dipper decide to head to bed for the night. The twins enter the elevator and begin to head to the top floor.

"I wonder what Timmy and Vicky are up to."

Their question is answered as Timmy pushes his hand into the elevator door. Vicky's arm is draped over Timmy's shoulder as he carries her into the elevator.

"Help me out." he says. The twins grab Vicky's other arm and help lift her up. She giggles deliriously as she sways in place.

"Why's the floor made of jelly?" Vicky says. Her voice is slurred and giggly, and she's drooling slightly from her bottom lip.

"She's wasted." Dipper says.

"Shudup, Pineeeeeey."

Vicky hiccups and lets out a large, obnoxious burp. She laughs immaturely as the stench of alcohol fills the twins' nostrils.

"How the heck did this happen?" Mabel asks.

"Well, we were hanging out with Jess, and they started talking about whiskey and beer. Then Jess said she always thought Vicky was a lightweight. Then Vicky said the same thing, then Jess challenged Vicky to a drinking contest, and then everything got out of hand."

"T-t-t-Tiiiimmmy. How come you look so cute in girl's clothes?"

Timmy begins blushing as Vicky giggles and hiccups. She pokes her boyfriend's nose and squeals with delight. The bump of the elevator reaching their floor makes Vicky wobble. Vicky's head circles in place as her eyes stare unfocused at the floor, ready to vomit. She lets out another loud, long burb that seems to ease her stomach pain.

"I'm good."

The twins and Timmy escort Vicky towards the room. Timmy fumbles through Vicky's pockets and gets the keycard out. Timmy and Mabel help Vicky towards the bed while Dipper goes to fetch a glass of water.

"I won." Vicky proclaims as Timmy helps her lie down. Dipper sets the glass of water down on the table next to Vicky. She picks the glass up and sips some of the water before setting it back down. Timmy stops the water from spilling over the table as Vicky rolls under the blanket.

"Well, see you tomorrow." Timmy says. The twins wave goodbye as Vicky begins snoring loudly. Timmy turns off the light and snuggles up to his deranged girlfriend.

"You are so odd." Timmy whispers to Vicky.

The twins return to their room and get ready for bed.

"I really don't get drinking. I mean, it makes you stupid, it doesn't taste that good, and it hurts like hell when you wake up."

"I don't know, Dipper. Maybe some of it isn't crap."

"Maybe."

Dipper looks towards the mini-fridge in the room. He remembers that it's stocked with various alcoholic beverages.

"Want to try some?" Dipper asks.

"Um… okay."

"Just a little. Nothing too big."

Dipper and Mabel search through the fridge. They take out several bottles of whiskey, scotch, brandy, and rum. The twins find small glasses and begin to sample the alcohol. Dipper pours himself a white, creamy coconut flavored drink. He takes a small sip, but then he finishes the rest.

"That's pretty good."

Mabel pours herself a glass of the coconut rum and drinks it.

"That's really good."

Mabel finds a dark, murky looking rum. She takes a small sip and gags at the taste. Dipper lifts it up to his mouth and tastes some. He shivers at the vile flavor as it stings his tongue. Dipper lifts up a golden, transparent whiskey.

"Looks like piss." Dipper says.

"It might be. You'd never know."

Dipper tries a sip and gags at the taste. The twins go through the fifteen different bottles of alcohol, sipping a tiny amount of each one. But the alcohol is enough to get the twins drunk. Dipper stumbles to the refrigerator and struggles to put the bottles back in. Mabel wobbles on the bed as Waddles smells her breath.

"Lightweight." Dipper says while staring at Mabel. She pushes him down onto the pillow and falls onto his chest. Dipper turns off the light before the twins go to sleep.

Come Friday, Dipper wakes up with Mabel snoring on his chest. Waddles is licking Dipper's hand. Dipper shifts carefully out from under Mabel and goes to take Waddles to the bathroom. Dipper escorts his pig down the elevator, through the hallway, and outside.

"Sorry Waddles." Dipper says before he returns to the room with the pig.

Mabel is already up and getting changed.

"Morning." Dipper says.

"Good morning, bro-friend."

"So, one last day at the beach, eh?"

"Oh no, my brother's been possessed by a Canadian."

"Want some maple syrup, eh?"

"Pardon me, I'm sorry. Oh dear."

The twins snicker before they take Waddles with them outside. Dipper and Mabel take turns on the beach with Waddles and going into the water. Dipper is bobbing up and down in the waves when Vicky comes over and shoves his head down. Dipper comes back up and pushes her over.

"This is a nice place." Dipper says.

"You thinking of moving out here?" Timmy asks.

"I don't know. I'm mostly thinking of Portland. Wendy's going to try and get back in the summer. We'll probably end up housemates."

"Moving in with your old crush? You sure you can handle it?" Vicky says jokingly.

"I have faith in my ability to control my neither regions."

Dipper goes to rejoin Mabel on the beach. The twins relax as the day comes to a close. Mabel takes Waddles to use the bathroom as Dipper orders room service. When Mabel returns, she finds a festive feast prepared for the twins and their pet pig.

The next day the twins pack up in the van, ready to return to Piedmont. Dipper calls his mother.

"Mom?... Yeah, we're on our way. We should be back in a couple hours… Yeah, here."

Dipper gives the phone to Mabel.

"Hello." Mabel says.

"Hey." her father responds from the other end.

"Oh… hi Dad."

"What's happening?"

"Not much. Had a lot of fun."

"That's good. Where'd you stay?"

"Our friend got us this awesome, big penthouse suite. We got room service, and a restaurant, and it was all really fun."

"Good. I'm glad to hear it."

"Yeah… So I was wondering. My graduation is coming up in a couple of months. Do you want to come?"

"Uh, yeah. I mean, if it's fine with you."

"It is. Please. Just one day. No fighting, no bickering. Just us, being a family again."

"… I'll be there."

"Thanks. See you later."

Mabel hands the phone back to Dipper as Vicky pulls onto the highway.

"Hey, could you put Mom back on?"

"Oh, yeah, sure."

Dipper hears his parents talking on the other end of the line before his mother answers.

"Oh, hi Dipper."

"Hey Mom. So, we should be there in a couple of hours."

"Alright. How was the beach?"

"It was pretty good."

"Yeah. You left here just in time. Apparently there was some sort of gang fight at Garry's."

"Oh. What happened?"

"That old bully you and Mabel talked about ended up going to the hospital. Apparently someone rubbed these supper hot, imported peppers in his eyes."

"Huh, weird."

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Well, I'll see you later."

"Bye."

Dipper turns the phone off and puts it back in his pocket. He turns to Waddles in the backseat.

"Hey, sorry Waddles."

"He forgives you." Mabel says.

"I know. Still, I should apologize."

It's nearly noon when the group is back in Piedmont. Dipper watches the scenery pass by as Vicky continues the drive to his house. But he catches something out of the corner of his eye.

"Vicky, pull over." Dipper says in a commanding voice. Vicky obeys Dipper while eyeing him curiously in the mirror.

"Mabel, Vicky, let's go."

The three leave the car and follow Dipper down the sidewalk. They spot George running out of an alley, being chased by Jeff and one of his other friends. George runs past Dipper, Mabel, and Vicky. Jeff and his friend come to a stop before their opponents. Dipper smiles as he sees the expression on Jeff's face; hesitation and fear.

"So, Jeffrey, what on Earth do you want with my little plaything?"

Jeff doesn't answer; instead, his older friend walks up and confronts Dipper.

"That little shit owes Jeff money."

Dipper giggles as he tilts his head to look behind the older male. Dipper stares, unblinking, into Jeff's eyes.

"So, making up bullshit I see?"

Dipper turns back to face the other attacker.

"Let me explain what's going on. Jeff, your little pal, has always had a… a disagreement with me and my sister. Don't know why. Maybe he just hates happy people. But, a little less than a week ago, _eye_ made sure he could _see_ just what kind of pain he put us through."

"What are you talking about?"

"I shoved ghost peppers in his eyes. Apparently it was… unpleasant. So it seems Jeff, in his infinite wisdom, has decided that instead of targeting someone who provides a challenge, he'd instead go after one of my helpless friends. Which is incredibly impolite if you ask me."

Jeff's friend turns back and gazes curiously at his friend, wondering if Dipper is telling the truth.

"That friend of yours seems to think targeting the people I care about is somehow revenge, even though he is the one who owes me. For all the times he's tried to make my day just a little bit worse. For every rumor and gossipy garbage he's started about me and my sister kissing or screwing or whatever. He would even lower himself to attacking my pet."

"What?"

"Waddles, my pet pig. You weren't there during the incident at Garry's. Jeff thought it would be fine to kick my pig."

The older man turns around and walks towards Jeff, angry at his friend's wormy nature.

"The fuck, man? I stood up for you. When Al said you tried to kick that guy's pig, I told him he was an idiot. I said you'd never go after someone's pet. That you weren't a pussy."

"Joey!"

"Fuck off."

The other man walks away, leaving Jeff defenseless against Dipper and Vicky. But Dipper intends to keep his promise to Mabel. Dipper turns back and begins to walk away, whistling a happy tune. Vicky and Mabel begin backing away. Jeff, seeing that Vicky and Dipper have turned away, decides to charge at them. Jeff punches Dipper in the back of the head, sending him to the ground with a pained yelp. Mabel stares at Jeff, shocked and growing in rage. Vicky and Mabel slam their fists into Jeff's chest, sending him down to the pavement. Vicky stands over Jeff with a malicious gaze. Yet Mabel is the one to continue the assault. She proceeds to smash Jeff's face into the concrete.

"That's for every time you messed with me and Dipper! And for trying to kick my Waddles! No one hurts my Waddles! And taking things out on our friends! Fuck! You!"

Dipper stands up and rubs the back of his neck while turning to watch the one-sided beating. Dipper smiles blissfully as he watches his sister pound Jeff into the pavement. Mabel stands up, breathing through her nose like a feral bull.

"Don't fuck with the alpha twin."

Mabel turns away from the broken bully. She walks towards George, who shakes in fear at seeing Mabel's insanity.

"George, if you or any of our other friends ever have trouble with Jeff, tell Sofia to call me."

George backs away slowly before turning around and fleeing. Mabel lets out a deep breath as she turns to look at Dipper and Vicky. The pair are smiling proudly, pleased with Mabel for embracing her inner lunatic.

"Hello pot, name's kettle. Want some tea?" Vicky says. Mabel realizes she just pulverized Jeff, who remains sobbing in pain on the ground behind her. Dipper gives Mabel a hug.

"Thanks for defending me."

"Uh, I, no problem bro. That's my job. I, uh… I really fucked him up, didn't I?"

"Yep, just like I would have done it." Vicky says. The three begin to walk back to the car. Dipper and Mabel get back in while Vicky goes to drive.

"So, uh, what just happened?" Timmy asks.

"That crazy jerk from earlier was trying to take his anger out on Dipper's old pal, he punched Dipper, then Mabel showed him why she's the alpha twin."

"Neat."

Mabel laughs nervously as Vicky begins driving back to the twins' house. Vicky pulls up to the twins' old residence. Mabel steps out of the car and walks up to the door. Before she has a chance to knock, the twins' father opens the door and carrying his wife's bags. Mabel walks up and gives her father a hug. He shudders in pained relief, happy that he hasn't completely driven Mabel out of his life. Mabel and her parents walk to the car. Vicky shoots a glare at the Pines' father. Even when she doesn't purposefully intend to frighten people, she still manages to be terrifying. The older man nearly drops the bags at the sight of the redheaded monster. He places the bags in the car and gives Waddles a pat on the head.

"So, I'll, uh, I'll see you around." Mr. Pines says

"Bye." Mrs. Pines replies. She gives her husband one last hug and a kiss before they part. She takes the driver's seat while Vicky goes into the back. The twins wave goodbye to their father, who manages not to cry as he watches his wife and daughter leave from sight.

"So, how was it?" Dipper asks.

"It was good. I think I'll be moving back once you two move out."

"Okay… Mabel and I are probably going to move out after the summer. Save up some money and just head out."

"Okay. Do you have any colleges you're thinking of?"

"Nothing yet. But we are kind of thinking about Portland." Mabel says.

"Oregon?"

"Yeah. Dipper and I are thinking of moving in with Wendy. It'll help pay the bills."

"Alright. If you do, you'd better call every day."

Mabel beams a smile at her mother as they drive away. She looks out towards Piedmont for what may be the final time. But with Dipper by her side, Mabel could handle anything.


End file.
